chapter nine; confusion arousing . @ 3:20:00 AM
is there really anything to say at all ?
i really feel suck-ish right now ,
i hate looking back into what i have done in one week and realising i could have done a better job .
oh God ! i hate having memories , really .
eventhough there were good memories , i felt i deserve more than that .
maybe im already cursed to suffer what i didnt do .
honestly, i feel that im going to end up somewhere dangerous .
somewhere , where nothing is safe at all .
i feel dead , honestly .
noone says that our first love is never forgotten seriously ,
i felt that i havent forgotten mine at all , but i got over him .
somehow i always did pull myself through my crushes .
now i cant ,
im fully am weak . oh God ! im pathetic .
Haha . here's a laugh for my stupidity .
i wonder when guys really do realised that girls like them .
most of the time , its like they never did .
when girls like guys , they will try to act normally in front of them , because they dont want to let their crushes know that they like them.
guys , on the other hand , what to show off in front of their crushes to let them know that they like them .
guys tend to want the attention when they are with their crushes .
girls tend to keep what they feel inside until the appropriate moment .
for me , i dont know when is the approriate moment ,
because it would always be during chat sessions over MSN .
and the guys can online and offline anytime they like during the conversation .
so when is the appropriate time to tell a guy , you like them ?
all i know , is that , telling them online , is never the right thing to do ,
and all i know that , having crushes on a guy is harder but trying to forget about them , is more harder than it is .
and im trying my best to forget who im crushing on eventhough i would be the one getting hurt .
