chapter forty nine ; graveyards . @ 11:47:00 PM
gosh .
im watching a sad show on tv .
its a show dedicated to Hari Raya .
but its so sad .
it reminds me of my visits to the graveyard .
and suddenly , i remember those precious visits that i really do feel close to my late relatives .
i only lost two .
my grandmother and my uncle .
it was a painful experience . but it reminded me so much about them .
i realised its important to gain our blessings than our sins on this Earth .
if we ever want to see our loved ones in heaven .
when my grandmother pass away , i didnt cry the whole period .
i watched her , spending her last few days in my auntis's house .
i watched her , battling the last few stages of breast cancer .
the machine beeping beside her .
the days flown by .
and my relatives and i watch with fear , that one of the days , she will eventually give up and go .
that day came ,
when my cousins and i was celebrating children's day at loyang primary .
halfway through the concert ,
my uncle came to pick us up and rush us back to the house .
we were late , many visitors were there .
i didnt cry .
i couldnt .
it wasnt because i could not understnad what was happening .
i was around 9 or 10 years old at that time .
but i knew what was happening .
i kept quiet the whole day .
i watched as they wrapped my grandmother in white sheets .
they asked all the relatives to give her a kiss goodbye .
only after i gave her a final kiss , was then i realised that she is truly gone .
i cried my heart out at the corner .
till now , i miss her truly ,
i miss her cooking especially .
(:
my uncle's death was an unfortunate one .
i didnt expect him to go too soon .
although i see him once a year , during Hari Raya , i still adore him .
the last Raya with him , he hugged me tightly , not wanting to let go .
he did the same to all my sisters and especially , his brother . my dad .
he watched us , the whole period , not wanting to let go his sight of us .
he passed away overseas , while working as a diver .
it took almost a whole week to have his body travel back here .
i miss him too .
i miss him badly .
i miss the both of them badly .
sometimes , when we visit a funeral ,
we see the person but never really feel what its like or what it reminds us of.
everytime i visit the graveyard , i remember my late realtives .
the last time i paid my respects to my relative was this year , when i went for a funeral .
my dad walked away from the burial site .
i followed him , and he approached my uncle's grave .
the enclosure was bulid already .
i looked upon the grave , then looked up into the sky .
i touched his grave and prayed .
despite all this , it gave me something to think about .
it gave me something to learn about .
whatever that God have for us , we must learn to use it or make it well .
tomorrow ,
i will remember them dearly .
